


Child Soldiers

by revati



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman and Robin (Comics), DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-29
Updated: 2013-09-29
Packaged: 2017-12-27 23:18:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/984828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revati/pseuds/revati
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"...taking a broken child with no way to fend for herself, handing her a gun (or a Robin suit) and asking her to fight for his cause."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Child Soldiers

            Jason backs into the apartment, mindful of the large pizza he's balancing.

            Their pad is a shithole, but it's livable. Neither of them are very picky. (Jason isn't sure when he started using plurals in reference to the apartment, but it was probably around the time Sasha first smiled at him.) He slides the cardboard onto the table, carefully out of habit.

            Just in time for Sasha to barrel into his back. Her arms clamp around his stomach, her ear against his spine.

            They don't exchange words. There are never I'm homes and welcome backs between them. This thing they are trying out is still so new. Jason hasn't lived with a normal person since Alfred and as much as Sasha respects him, Jason is a murderer.

            Still, he turns in her arms, reminded again how small she is, barely reaching his armpits and about half his width. He doesn't put his hands around her, doesn't hug her. Sasha tends to flinch from anything coming near her face.

            "Nightwing and Robin cornered me again."

            Something cold and brittle cracks in Jason's brain and he has to force deep breaths, aware that his sidekick's hug is tight enough for his ribs to protest. When his anger simmers down he steps back, Sasha dragged along since she doesn't remove her arms, and settles them on the couch. It's filthy like most of the apartment, but the cushions are comfortable if you keep part of the weight on your feet. Sasha untangles herself and starts to look away, but Jason brings his hands up. (It's different when their sitting. If he's reaching up, then she leans into his touch.) She turns into his fingertips, lingering at her pulse, any higher and he would brush against the plastic flesh burned onto her skin.

            He doesn't talk, doesn't want to be leading. It's important that she knows how much power she has in this arrangement, that she can take charge or walk away when she wants.

            "They said awful things about you."

            Fourteen. Fuck, she's only fourteen and yeah, he was twelve and Dickie was fucking nine, that doesn't make it right.

            "Most of them are probably true, Sash."

            He knows he shouldn't but he can't resist shortening her name, not when her pulse speeds, when she visibly holds back tears with a broken smile. He's been there. She is exactly him. With a mother out of reach and a deadbeat father. Utterly alone and with no hope of erasing the stains on their lives. For Jason it was his former life as a thief and other things he's sure Bruce was too scared to properly research. For Sasha, it is the Pyg Mask. Even if it comes off, she'll have scars forever. Plastic surgery is way too expensive for him to reasonably believe anything else.

            It's so wrong; it's exactly what Bruce did to him, the reason Jason hasn't left Gotham for greener, saner pastures. The only compensation he can give her is the cold truth. He's a psychopath, not insane enough for Arkham, but insane in his own way. She has to know that, has to know that she is better than anything he's ever had, far better than he deserves. One day, she'll leave or Jason will push her away and he has to make sure she can get up and _live._

            Sasha sniffles shallowly, most motion hurts and even speaking is whispered to keep her lips from moving all that much. "You're good to _me._ "

            Jason swallows hard on the guilt. As if that's an excuse for dragging her into this world. After what Bruce had put him through, he should have known better than to make a child soldier, taking a broken child with no way to fend for herself, handing her a gun (or a Robin suit) and asking her to fight for his cause.

            He is sure she gets nothing from this. She could go home to her mother. That's what Jason should do. But he is selfish. In less than a month, Sasha has become a lifeline. Sasha tears open all his ugly scars and sews them back cleanly. But part of him knows if he keeps this up just a little bit longer, he'll be able to leave. He'll be able to relocate to wherever her mother is and carve out a new life for himself, keeping himself away from Sasha, but staying close enough in the shadows to watch over her. His girl deserves nothing less than his single minded dedication to see to her wellbeing.

            Sighing, he takes her hands, rubbing his thumbs where the veins show blue through her skin. "Sasha, this isn't forever."

            She stiffens and he wants to jump off the damn building. Everything in him wants to shut up and just reassure her, but he can't, won't become Bruce for her. "This is just a rest for you. Your mother is alive; you can have a future without always hiding, without being at odds with the law."

            His girl is shaking her head, but Jason tightens his grip on her jaw. "You have people who love you, who are more stable than me. You'll find friends and boyfriends or girlfriends. There is so much out there," but not for Jason, not anymore. "You have to find out who you are, what you want to do with the rest of your life." Jason's life stopped at fifteen. Where else could he go but to the only person alive who had ever meant anything to him. Even though Bruce has moved on, is dead. Even though he should do them both a favor and jump into a fire. Keep from coming back again.

            "I'm just a rest stop, Sash." A rest stop for Bruce between Dick and Tim. A rest stop for Wilis between jail time. A rest stop for Talia between Bruce and Damian. Not a destination, just a place to refuel, so they could be at their best when they got where they needed to go.

            Little hands cup his jaw and Sasha presses up against his thigh to get closer. Her triceps are straining from the angle. "Jason, you saved me. Whatever happens, I'll never forget you. I'll always care. I... I'll always love you."

            Jason smiles and bends into her fingers as she brushes a chapped kiss against his forehead. Damn, this girl spoils him. He doesn't remember the last time someone said those words to him, but at least she knows this will end. That's good. Nothing is forever and he wants Sasha to get away from him, even though it will hurt. Even though he'll die without her. It would be fitting justice for putting a gun in her hand, for letting her stain her soul for his crusade.

            Fourteen years old, and he can see her getting ready to take his burden. Fuck, he'll have to get that habit out of her before sending her home. No more overlooking the sins of loved ones for Sasha. A few tears escape her glasslike eyes, held back valiantly but still running red over the false skin. Jason pulls out the handkerchief (one of many he keeps on hand now) and, waiting for her to close her eyes, dabs her skin as gently as he can manage.

            The mask is peeling away more every day. It won't be long now. He shouldn't, but...

            "Let's take the night off and go bowling, Sash. The criminals will still be there tomorrow."

**Author's Note:**

> Robin is really just a romanticized child soldier, so it is interesting that for their second incarnation of Robin (Jason) the DC team decided to create a child whose past wouldn't be unheard of in a real child soldier. Jason was an orphan, fending for himself by any means necessary. While Bruce did try to put him in a school, when he actually took in Jason as his ward, instead of keeping the boy out of his life, he handed Jason the suit and the chance to fight in his crusade while offering him a safe environment and a reliable source of food. (Even if that wasn't Bruce's intention.) 
> 
> I cannot be the only one who thinks that of all the Robins, Jason is the most like a real child soldier. But for those of you who didn't I'm sorry for ruining your childhoods with that bit of grim realism.


End file.
